01/ 12/ 2020
If asked what I dreaded most when I was a teenager and twenty-something, I would have said confrontation. It didn’t matter what type of conversation: a fight, a break up or something as simple as telling the Starbuck’s barista that I’d ordered an iced pumpkin spiced latte, not a hot one. It’s not that I didn’t want to speak up. I simply felt too afraid to do so.
After eight and a half years of living in New York City, my mindset on confrontation has shifted. This shift is in part a result of NYC’s ecosystem. New Yorkers are more intense and stubborn—a perfect storm for heated conversations. Confrontation seemed to happen every day, and I had to become comfortable with it in order to feel more at ease in the City.
Looking back, I wanted to identify how exactly my mind shift had changed. Here’s what I learned and what helped make confrontation feel more natural:
Read more »01/ 02/ 2020
I didn’t blog as much in 2019. Taking a break wasn’t intentional, it just sort of happened. I considered why I wasn’t writing as much and would tell myself that I didn’t have anything to say or write about. I realized later on that this wasn’t completely true.
I also wondered if I really missed blogging. I’m very introverted, and it’s challenging for me to share parts of my life on this very public platform. Blogging was an important part of my early years in New York. I needed a space to sort my thoughts, a place to document my personal growth. I thought that maybe I’d outgrown With Muchness, that I didn’t need this platform any more. But I actually do miss the practice, the discipline it takes to write something and the vulnerability that comes with publishing content. It keeps me honest. I can articulate things when I write that I can’t when I speak.
Read more »08/ 07/ 2019
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the decisions I’ve made throughout my young adult life. They range from my college major to past relationships to my move to NYC. Upon looking back, it’s so easy to re-think my choices, and that flighty temptress known as regret sets in.
Sometimes I feel completely lost in regret, and it’s hard to move forward.
-I wonder if I had said this instead of that would that interview have ended differently?
-If I were more fun and outgoing and less quiet, would this person have chosen to date me?
-If I had chosen a different college major and ended up working in a completely different industry, would I be more content now?
When I’m caught up in these kinds of thoughts, I do wish I could go back and do things differently. But this desire to change the past is what makes regret a slippery slope. For me, it triggers intense sadness really quickly.
Read more »06/ 09/ 2019
The 30 day reset challenge is done! And, I must say, that it turned out a little differently than I imagined.
I followed most of my guidelines, but made a few tweaks. Exercise became a goal of working out 150 minutes per week. I also continued having chips with Chipotle. The goal was to reset, to feel more disciplined, and I did. But it was a different kind of disciplined.
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