30 Day Reset Challenge – Wrap Up

The 30 day reset challenge is done! And, I must say, that it turned out a little differently than I imagined.

I followed most of my guidelines, but made a few tweaks. Exercise became a goal of working out 150 minutes per week. I also continued having chips with Chipotle. The goal was to reset, to feel more disciplined, and I did. But it was a different kind of disciplined.

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9 days down | 21 days to go

I started my 30-Day Reset Challenge last Monday, and overall, things are going pretty well. As a reminder, here are the original guidelines:

1. There shall be no ordering in. I can dine out with friends, but must make good choices. I also can eat at Chipotle once a week; however, I must pass on the chips (God help me).
2. I will workout three times a week and go to yoga class once a week. I think this is manageable, but will definitely be challenging to work into my schedule.
3. I must meal prep on Sundays… I must, I must, I must.
4. While I do most of my reading on the train, I would like to spend more time reading at home and less time binging shows on Netflix. Planning for two hours of additional reading a week.
5. I am on a daily medication to replace the hormones that regulate the thyroid and am supposed to take additional supplements (vitamins D and B12 and calcium) as well. I forgot to take my vitamins every day last week—not ideal. So the final guideline is to get back on track.

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30-Day Reset: Game On

Last month was a lot. I managed a gala that raised $1 million at The Plaza, and while it went very well, it meant I worked many extra hours. While the extra hours were anticipated, I had less time to do the things I needed to do in order to stick to a healthy lifestyle of meal prepping, exercising and eating at home. In April, there were many late nights with pad thai and Chipotle burrito bowls with chips; I drank more coffee than even Lorelai Gilmore could handle and I spent less time at the gym than I would have liked. I need to reset.

So, today, I am starting a month long venture to get back to my healthy habits. The guidelines are as follows:

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It’s Not About You.

On a friend’s recommendation, I started listening to a podcast called UnF*ck Your Brain to Create Feminist Confidence hosted by former lawyer, Kara Loewentheil. Kara promises to teach you the skills to fix your unhealthy thought patterns and become your best self.

I skimmed through the list of available episodes and found number 22: It’s Not About You – How to Stop Taking Sh*t Personally. It sounded like a good place to start, so I hit play, and was very challenged by what I heard.

Kara argues that the way people treat you or respond to something you may have done or said has nothing to do with you. You are not the cause of their dislike, hostile attitude or rudeness, she says, because a person is only responding to their thoughts and feelings. Your actions toward that person do not mean you are responsible for the thoughts and feelings this person may experience. The person is ultimately in charge of them. They will think and feel however they do, making them the source of those feelings and thoughts.

The first time I listened to this episode, I did not agree. I offered a counter-argument, explaining that if my words or actions elicited someone’s thoughts and feelings, then I am responsible for how that person thinks and feels. But I could not let her perspective go.

I must have listened to the episodes a dozen times by now, and I finally got it. Kara was right. Even if something I said caused a certain feeling, that does not make me responsible for how that person feels. As Kara says many times throughout her series, “your thoughts create your feelings.” I may have said or done something to cause a certain reaction, but because we each create our own thoughts and feelings, I am not responsible for how a person thinks or feels. We all feel how we feel, and it cannot be helped.

So, Kara was right, and over the past couple months, I have tried to not take things so personally. When a colleague is snarky or rude, I remind myself that the snark has nothing to do with me because they are simply responding to their own feelings. And knowing that has been a real game changer.

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