12/ 02/ 2012
Jane Austen’s work never seizes to make my day better. She’s sassy, witty and writes honestly. I like that in an author. Plus she’s a total feminist but in a classy way. Currently, I’m reading Northanger Abbey and I’ve been struck by an intriguing notion; I finally understand my qualms with love. After years and years of reading Miss Austen’s tales, watching films of her stories, researching Regency England and being the ultimate nerd by carrying a Jane Austen tote bag, I’ve realized she’s to blame. When it comes to matters of the heart, I’ve been brainwashed by Jane Austen.
Jane Austen—my hero/mind manipulator
A guy friend asked me why I think dudes should make the first move. I responded directly, telling him that that’s how it should be. He said, “Just because a guy doesn’t speak up doesn’t mean he’s not interested, he may just be shy.” And my friend may be right, but I want that fairy tale and Jane’s led me to believe that I’ll get it when the right guy comes along. I want someone so enraptured with me that he can’t help but say something. In today’s generation though, is this how it really happens? I have a few girl friends who said “I like you” first or even initiated the first date.
I — like many of Jane’s heroines — enter romance with high expectations. I read into ever word, think a playful push or catching him looking at me are signs that he’s into me. I expect it to be like in Austen’s books or film adaptations: whimsical and fairy-tale like, a world in which boys say things like, “You’ve bewitched me body and soul and I love, I love, I love you;” or, “Marry me. Marry me, my wonderful, darling friend.”
All of these thoughts lead me to wonder: does what I consider real romance (Jane’s definition of the term) exists nowadays? I mean, I think it’s romantic when a dude offers me a seat on the subway. Is romance alive today or is it defined by grand gestures?
And while I realize that female societal roles are (thankfully) different now than they were in Miss Austen’s time, I read her books and long for that one great love — a Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightley — to beguile me.
Matthew Macfadyen: the greatest Mr. Darcy of all time, hands down
Jonny Lee Miller as Mr. Knightley (my personal favorite portrayal)
Should I let go of Jane’s descriptions of love or should I stop dreaming and move onto a more realistic/generational standard? I wonder what Jane would say.
100% agree! It’s not just a problem with books either, TV and film have the exact same effect, especially Disney! How on earth is real life supposed to measure up to the greats of Jane Austen, Emily Bronte, Charlotte Bronte??
I’m most definitely a Mr Knightly fan, although I haven’t actually seen any film of TV adaptions of Emma yet. But I loved him in the book! 😀
If you love “Emma,” you have to see the latest BBC adaptation. The TV miniseries… no words for how awesome it is, it’s bliss! Yes, Disney has left me with false hope too (I’m such a sucker for a good Disney film.) Thank you for thoughts!
I must say I am in the same boat as you. I love Austen’s work and have always been under the impression that the guy should make the first move. She has ruined me for the real world. I don’t think I can change though. I am set in my ways.
I smiled when I read this. Jane would be proud. We’re just channeling Elizabeth Bennett and being “headstrong obstinate” girls! Since writing this post and after further pondering this conundrum, I’ve decided — like you — that I’m sticking with my gut and waiting on that perfect dude to come after me. It will be better this way. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
I understand by your post above you believe Jane Austen to be one of the better writers of all time. I whole heartedly agree. I am particularly fond of her book Pride and Prejudice, which the BBC did a version of in 2001 with Colin Firth that I think is the best.
Anyway, being a Jane Austen fan, I thought you might like to see an experiment I’m working on. I’m writing a book week by week, a thousand words at a time, and I think the subject matter would interest you extremely. I’m doing a continuation of Pride and Prejudice, with all the characters in the original novel making an appearance again. You can read more about it at my blog, http://witchesatwar.wordpress.com.
I won’t reveal a llot of the plot, but needless to say, it will turn the worlds of the Darcy’s, The Bingly’s, and of course, the Benet’s on its head. Permanently? You’ll have to follow along and find out with everyone else!
Oh my goodness… I’m so intrigued! Thank you for sending this along and for checking out my post. “Pride and Prejudice” is my favorite! Colin Firth is a brilliant Darcy, but I just find Matthew Macfadyen to be nothing short of perfection. Looking forward to following your blog.
I’d say Jane would say, stop pining for a Mr Darcy, live life as you see fit, appreciate what you have and then you just might find that a ethical man walks by and you notice him. Within the romances there are so many moments about living a happy life.
As I pondered your comment I came to a major realization: you can’t plan love. As a textbook type-A, this is pretty much blowing my mind right now. Thanks for your great advice and for reading my post.