01/ 01/ 2019
It was a quiet New Year’s Eve. I spent the evening baking chocolate chip cookies and watching Taylor Swift’s Reputation tour on Netflix, and it was a delightful way to end the year.
A lot happened in 2018. I finished my first full year at my job, and learned so much professionally. I celebrated one full year of being cancer free. I went on a lot of dates, and a few good ones. I got better at setting boundaries and completed almost every one of my 2018 New Year’s Resolutions (though I could always choose healthier foods and only made caramel once from scratch).
I have set goals each New Year for as long as I can remember. They are specific and measurable and I love the process of writing out my resolutions. But this year, I have just one: I want to do better.
In my journal, I wrote, “I just want to do 2019. I want to work hard and not complain and do better for myself. I want to demand more. I want to feel relaxed. I want to not feel so stressed. I want to do better.”
After re-reading what I wrote a few times, I was reminded of the lyrics to Sigrid’s song “Don’t Kill My Vibe.” I love this song, and maybe its message is the goal: to support my own decisions. To go after the things I want. To move confidently and shake off insecurity.
And that sounds like a pretty good goal to me.
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