11/ 18/ 2018
It’s a normal process. To go on in life thinking you’re a certain type of person. There are particular things (activities, hobbies, friendships even) that you prioritize and are important to you, and there are opinions or needs you wouldn’t dream of compromising on.
Then, one day, you wake up. The things you prioritized don’t matter as much to you and you start seeing yourself differently.
Lately, I feel a bit like my dear Alice, lost in Wonderland, living like I am constantly changing, evolving and not the same person that I was at breakfast.
As a person that enjoys routine and feeling comfortable, the idea that I don’t know exactly who I am at the moment is unsettling. It’s like life is happening around me. That I’m in some sort of dream, and I’m physically there, but not really there.
That sounds a little out there, but I know I’m not alone. Last month, I texted one of my friends to explain this and she confirmed that she very often feels the same way.
In one of my favorite sermons on relationships, Tim Keller explains that newlyweds never really truly know the person that they are marrying. They may know them well in this moment, at this particular time, but people change. He goes on to say that when you marry someone, it’s like you are saying, “I love you and the person you are, but I’m also excited about the person you will become.”
Let me be clear: I’m in no way close to getting married. I only mention this to say that though I am a bit out of sorts right now and changing and not feeling like I’m actually present. But, I love this messy me and the person I was at breakfast, and am excited to see who I will become by lunchtime.
Leave a Reply