Lessons from Somewhere: April 2017

It’s been nearly a year since my initial round of radioactive iodine treatments (RAI). The RAI insures that all remaining thyroid tissue has been destroyed. The idea is that if all the thyroid tissue is gone, the potential of reoccurrence is incredibly low/almost impossible (so yeah, RAI is kind of amazing).

After the first round, there was a scan to see if the RAI did its job. My scan wasn’t clear, meaning I had thyroid tissue left. Since the RAI continues to work for up to one year, the next steps were to wait one year and do another scan to see if it was clear. My endocrinologist also explained that I wouldn’t require an additional round of RAI, which I was thrilled to hear.

In April, it was time to schedule that second scan. It feels big, because if it’s clear, I’ll officially be cancer free. When I spoke to the radiologist, I learned that I would, in fact, need another dose of RAI. He explained that doing so would give him the best reading of the scan.

In retrospect, having to go through another round of RAI is not that big of a deal (… let me say that again). I am incredibly lucky that this more efficient and less invasive treatment exist for thyroid cancer. Chemotherapy patients have it a million times harder. RAI takes one week from start to finish. I will not feel sick or experience any of the symptoms that chemo patients have to face.

I am incredibly grateful. On the other hand, it was disappointing to hear I would need another round of RAI.

On top of this, I applied to a record number of new jobs and didn’t receive a single invitation to interview. I also set up dates with a couple of potential boos only to have them cancel. Needless to say, it’s been a frustrating few weeks.

Alright, so April was a bit up and down. But what I learned is you have to acknowledge where you place your trust. I realized that in focusing only on the lows, I was getting buried by them. They became my daily focal point, and it wasn’t only disheartening, but a waste of energy that only brought me down. Further, in giving my mental space to the low points, I was placing my trust in my uncertain circumstances instead of on my higher power, God. Talk about a wake up call.

So, it’s a new month and a fresh start. I’m trying to cultivate a grounded perspective each day so I’ll remain rooted in truth, not uncertainty. I’m journaling and meditating every morning, and so far, I’m feeling pretty good (but it’s only May 2nd… to be continued).

 

 

 

 

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