02/ 27/ 2017
I love getting a good deal, and on Black Friday, I found a $5.00 annual subscription to Oprah Magazine. I was thrilled. It’s an enjoyable magazine, mostly focusing on becoming your best self and living your best life. I was particularly drawn toward a quiz about how to get “unstuck.”
I am feeling a little stuck right now. I can say with full certainty that I have no idea what my life will look like a few months from now (and, yes, it’s scary). So I grabbed a pen and started taking the quiz. It diagnosed me as a “reluctant adaptor.” I’m described in this way:
“For you, the definition of contentment is knowing exactly what you believe in and what to expect. Change, on the other hand, sends you spinning. Even if you suspect something isn’t working anymore, you’d rather keep trying than plunge into the unknown.”
Oprah totally nailed me.
The article went on to give excellent strategies for learning how to deal with my abhorrence for change. Firstly, I was tasked with trusting in uncertainty. The article also suggested “writing your memoir,” so I thought back to all the other times I’d felt unstable. It was a lengthy list, including choosing a college and major at 17; breaking up with my long-term college boyfriend; deciding to move to New York City with no job lined up; entering the dating scene (again… and again… and again… and again); being diagnosed with cancer, and now, having to find a new job.
This mini memoir proved that life rarely goes the way it’s planned. I thought I would marry that college boyfriend. I believed I wouldn’t like New York City before moving here. I never thought I would still be dating at 31. I didn’t think cancer would ever be a concern in my 30s, nor did I anticipate being laid off from my job.
It wasn’t so much about trusting in uncertainty, but more about accepting that we all have a path and it is our job to follow its lead. Or, to put it another way, it’s about having faith that it’s all going to work out despite the ups and downs along the way.
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