07/ 07/ 2016
I’ve felt more anxious in the past month than I have in a while. There wasn’t a dramatic shift. It was actually some time before I noticed anything. The tipping point was being too nervous to send a text message. A few other scenarios like this occurred, most involving saying no to someone.
Saying no is hard for many people. I thought through the reasons why. I determined that I wasn’t saying no carelessly. I’d actually given each decision a lot of thought. I realized that I was actually following the boundaries I’d set for myself.
Right now, I’ve set boundaries to prevent over exertion. Adjusting to the thyroid replacement hormone hasn’t been easiest. After running some tests, my doctor determined that I am “chronically fatigued.” It’s not that I didn’t know that; however, it was comforting to get confirmation through a medical test.
But back to my limits. One is I can’t spend both weekend nights out. If I do, I end up sleeping most of the day on Sunday and am not as productive on Monday. I also don’t take the train on Sundays now. Instead, I stay in my neighborhood. I’m trying to take a break at work instead of working 8 solid hours. I’m exercising more than ever, at least 5 days per week. Finally, I’m monitoring my sleep, staying between 7-8 hours per night.
Whenever I think about boundaries, I remember something my friend Alessandra said to me my first year in NYC. It was something like there’s nothing wrong with setting boundaries. Funny how a piece of advice I received nearly four years ago is just now setting in.
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