03/ 06/ 2016
Over the past month, I’ve experienced some disappointments. They’ve come in a few ways. Not to sound too dramatic, but When disappointment strikes, it’s like being kicked repeatedly in the stomach. It’s a wounding sensation that sticks around.
It’s not the first time I’ve dealt with disappointment. I’ve come to realize that the greater struggle isn’t accepting that the bad things happened, but it’s the grieving period that follows.
Grief is challenging. My first instinct is to withdrawal, to push people away. To feel overwhelmingly sad, not completely aware. These are all normal reactions to grief. In February, I learned that there are more helpful ways to cope:
1) Don’t be Afraid: I figured out that I withdrawal initially because of fear. It’s scary to feel sad. I begin to question if I’ll ever be content or happy again or if I’ll ever be able to trust anyone again. But I choose to believe that I will. Grief is a moment, a process, it will pass. Let the fears go.
2) Work it Out: I never find wallowing productive for more than a few days. It’s true, it does feel good to sink into bed or have a good cry or eat all the junk food. Wallowing only goes so far though, you owe it to yourself to heal. So work it out. I ended up writing letters to someone and not sending them. It helped me process. I identified what was actually wrong and started toward healing.
3) Invest in Others: whenever something is off, it’s incredibly easy to become self-absorbed. I’ll start tumbling down the lonely path of “no one gets how hard this is/I’m so alone” pretty quickly if I’m not careful. Asking someone how they are, spending time with a friend or listening to someone else are powerful remedies to isolation. Get out of your own head and give your time to others. It’s a reminder that you’re not alone.
I haven’t mastered the art of combating grief by any means. But these small steps are helping me through it. Would love to hear your thoughts on grieving too. Please share in the comments below.
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