Reading New Yorkers

New Yorkers, like a good poker game, are excitingly unpredictable. Before arriving in NYC, I braced myself for a new world full of harsh interactions. To my surprise, I’m discovering that their demeanors are simply misunderstood. Below are some reflections about the people of New York City.

They are not snow Kings and Queens

They aren’t a cold people. I think standoffish fits; guarded is even better. They act tough because they have to be. Some people — like in every other place in the world — will take advantage of you or mug you if you look like a target. Putting up a barrier that reads, “mess with me and I will cut you,” is a means of protection in this city. Referring to New Yorkers as unfriendly and unwelcoming is inaccurate; they simply seek to stay safe.

They have hearts

What I’ve witnessed from the city’s residents is once that guarded barrier is down, they’re generous. In my third week here, my friend and I got lost carrying boxes through they city. We ended up asking a responsible looking man for directions. Not only did he guide us out, he carried one of our boxes and went out of his way to walk us to the closest 4-train entrance. When I offered to pay him he kindly declined, saying that it was his duty to help others. That impressed me.

Entitled? Yes.

Like my professor Tom said, people in New York feel very entitled, and it’s understandable why. The city demands compromise on so many things (housing, space, etc.). I don’t believe this entitlement is meant to be malicious. Like a child who hates to share, its intention is to hold on to any thing that is theirs. Usually these are simple things like a seat on the subway or a cart at the laundromat. But, if you treat any person or situation with civility, New Yorkers just might back down from their claim.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I’ve noticed that New Yorkers will respect you more if you fight back. Standing up for your-self is their second nature. If you speak up most of them will at least hear you out. Chances are they’ll fight back too, but they’ll take you more seriously because you said something.

Efficiency at its finest

New Yorkers are busy and seem like they don’t have time for you. For some people, this reads as aggressive behavior. I think this is yet another misconception. The city is a model of efficiency, and its people seek to emulate that. This “I don’t have time for you demeanor” is really more of a desire to always be efficient. Productivity is key. Understanding this will clarify why lots of people in the city seem hostile.

What I’m trying to say is this: New York is full of generous, kind, and friendly people. They’re not all scary. You’ve just got to be willing to initiate and go that extra mile in order to get the good to shine through.

 

 

 

 

 

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