NYC Double Takes

We’ve all witnessed a person, situation or encounter that’s made us do a double take. Some of us have even instigated such a time. These encounters catch you off guard, are often odd, sometimes unsettling and eventually become funny.

After living here for 7 months, New York City has given me a whole lot of these moments.

I love when they happen; they’re a part of the city’s culture, and truthfully, I try not to make light of these moments. I know that the people causing such events are doing so in all seriousness.

Sometimes though, when I’m feeling melancholy, I’ll re-play a few of them and instantly feel better. So today, I’ve decided to share my favorite peculiar moments with you complete with visual aids. Enjoy.

Apparently going to laundromats will get you action

One Saturday — when I lived in Brooklyn — I used my free afternoon to do laundry. At the time, I was sick, and since I wait to do laundry until I am in desperate need of clean clothes, I wasn’t looking so hot. Imagine if you will: me wearing my brother’s dark green soccer shorts, that are 4 four sizes too large; a crummy white undershirt; greasy, unkempt hair, thrown up on the top of my head; and a general sickly complexion complete with a hacking cough and a horse voice. After waiting for my clothes to come out of the wash, I went to transfer them to the dryer. While sorting my delicates, this big dude — who looked like he just stepped out of a Wu Tang Clan video – walked over and started watching me.

Creepy.

He then said, “Hey, you. You’re so beautiful. Are you Italian?” In my head I’m thinking, “Really, buddy?” For those of you who don’t know me, I’m crazy pale, very short, quite freckled and have ashen, dirty blonde hair—so clearly NOT Italian! Mr. Wu Tang continued, “No really, what’s your name? You’re so beautiful, etc., etc., etc.” I didn’t look at him; instead, I put my best mean girl face on, and continued sorting my laundry. After some persistence, he eventually backed off. I was annoyed and angry in the moment, but thinking back, the absurdity of his pick up line makes me smile every time.

Mr. Wu Tang, 2nd row, first on the right

The best way to find a wife in NYC? Advertise for one on 6^th Avenue

I was having a lovely afternoon. I’d just left work and decided to take a leisurely stroll through Greenwich Village. While walking, I heard a male voice calling from the opposite end of the block. This in itself is not strange for New York, but what he was saying made me curious. As I got closer, I could hear him more clearly. “I’m looking for a rich wife!” Ok, now I could no longer avert my eyes. I looked. There he was, in a well-worn grey sweat suit (yes, sweat suit) and old white Reebok sneakers. Neatly written on an oversized piece of poster board was his slogan “Looking for a rich wife.” Surrounding these words were descriptive requirements for his partner like “Pretty” and “Wealthy.” My personal favorite was “Not Fat.” I immediately turned my head to hide my smirk and kept on walking.

Not nearly as good, but just to give you an idea…

Angels not only exists, but they rock mullets

My friend Sarah Claire and I were riding the Uptown N train to church. At one stop, a short man with black hair styled into an impressive mullet stepped into our car. Once I noticed what he was carrying, I knew this was going to be good. In his hand was a large wooden cross. At its base, was an opened red file folder, adorned with broken mirrored fragments and red and black tiles. Then he said, “I am an angel sent by God to save all the young women!” Sarah Claire and I locked wide-eyes, both taken aback by what was happening. The man continued, “God has sent me to save the young women from Hell!” By this point, the people next to me were getting annoyed. A man yelled, “Shut the &*$% up!” Meanwhile, I’m trying so hard not to laugh and Sarah Claire is shaking her head saying, “Oh no… Oh no,” in anguish. “God sent me to save all the young girls under the age of 18 to become angels,” he shouted. “Once you’re over 18, you can’t be an angel or saved from hell.” A follow 20 something girl next to me said, “Oh well—looks like I’m going to Hell.” We grinned at one another. Sarah Claire continued to shake her head and responded, “Oh no… What is he saying?!?” I couldn’t contain it anymore and start laughing while he continued trying to recruit teenaged women. Luckily we got off the train before a riot ensued.

Oh, I almost forgot, he calls himself “Earth Angel”

---