12/ 03/ 2015
Upon returning home to NYC after a trip to my parent’s house in Florida, I was feeling refreshed and ready to take on life. In my first week back, I had a few unexpectedly tough conversations. That’s fine, they’re a part of life. But I learned that any relationship — be it with a lover, loved one or co-worker — is only as strong as its communication. After realizing this, my type-A tendencies kicked in and I started working toward my newest goal, becoming a better communicator.
Firstly, I needed to Identify my communication style. I honestly hadn’t thought about it before and how could I attempt to become a better communicator if I didn’t know my preference. I didn’t do any specific research on communication, but considered what sorts of things work or don’t work when I listen to others. I learned that direct communication and firm answers work for me (yes or no–avoid the maybes please). Sensitive subjects or difficult news should be given to me straight. I also discovered that if not spoken to directly, I’ll make assumptions when given information. I’ll spin things a million different ways and read into them deeply, which is why I want directness. I crave the certainty.
Once I figured my style out, I wanted to understand how the people I spend most of my time with communicate. This was pretty tough actually. You see, I didn’t want to admit that I was struggling with communication to these people. Instead, I wanted to read them on my own.
Well this bad was on me. Let’s remember the goal here, to become a better communicator. Here I was NOT communicating, and it was only step 2. So I checked my pride, and let these people know my goal. Then I simply asked about their communication styles. It was much more effective. Admitting my challenges made a real difference. It was setting a tone for openness and honesty, qualities I want in relationships.
There is still work to do. For now, I need to continue with this momentum and seek more dialogue. As it turns out, I learned that this is what I want more than anything, to have healthy relationships. For me, communication is a part of that.
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