On Beauty

I am a big fan of the 90s, especially the decade’s music. Alanis Morsiette, Nirvana and Weezer are among my favorites, and there were many a female artists dominating my CD player too.

I also remember watching these women’s music videos on MTV. I was obsessed with Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn” and Jewel’s “You Were Meant for Me.” Last week, the nostalgia kicked in and I started re-watching these videos on YouTube.

I noticed something. Decades ago while watching them as a child, and later teenager, I never realized how damn pretty these women were. I just remember being blown away by the coolness of the setting and singing along, trying to imitate each woman’s unique vocal quality. I was completely oblivious to their beauty.

I like to think I’m a bit wiser now, but when watching Fiona Apple’s “Criminal,” all I could think was, “I’ll never look like that in a million years… I’ll never be that pretty, but I should try to be.”

These are actual thoughts I had, and yes, I fully recognize how self-deprecating they sound. Why all the self-hatred? I know it’s not just me who struggles with this. The surge of women like Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer has brought on an uprising to embrace your imperfection and to just be you. I think this is great, but while we’re reminded to celebrate who we are and embrace that person, we live in a culture where it’s hard to follow through.

So I’ve decided to check myself by creating a list of what’s beautiful to me. I need an intervention, and I hope you’ll help by adding some of your visions of beauty in the comments below.

My hope is that we can redefine beauty for ourselves (and that I can stop being intimated by the awesome Fiona Apple).

Here goes…
—Beauty can be a feeling. If you feel beautiful, then you are.
—Beauty is falling apart every now and again. It means you’re capable of feeling deeply and are strong enough to confront the hurt.
—Beauty isn’t limited to a size 4. Be it curvy, thin, short or stocky, sexy can be felt at any size.
—Beauty is a smile, no matter if the teeth are croocked, covered in braces or off-white.
—Beauty is failure and the choice to try again.
—Beauty is admitting when you are in the wrong.
—Beauty is being humble enough to ask for help.
—Beauty is being considerate, like a stranger helping to carry your heavy bag up the stairs.
—Beauty is being courageous enough to correct injustice.
—Beauty is toasting to “us” with your best friend.
—Beauty is spooning with the one you like the most.
—Beauty is choosing to act kindly toward yourself.
—Beauty is found in what inspires you.
—Beauty lies in the wrinkles that might form on your face. They show passion, that you’ve lived animatedly.
—Beauty is surviving hardship, and then choosing to tell your story.

What is beauty to you?

 

 

 

 

 

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