07/ 04/ 2014
This past month, I noticed a common thread of fear. The idea of “facing fear” seemed to be everywhere, in the book I was reading, in conversations with friends, in sermons and in films. When the universe sends the same message over and over again, it’s hard to ignore.
At first, I started to think about my own fears, which include both personal and more irrational ones:
It’s interesting how unique fears are. What frightens me may seem laughable to others, but they’re definitely real, and shouldn’t be devalued. We’re taught from a young age to embrace fear, to face it, fight it; sometimes, I’m just tired of confronting fear. It’s definitely easier to quit than to keep going.
I realized how uncomfortable I was with the idea of facing fear, but perhaps, we’re each uncomfortable with the idea. I mean, they’re fears, right? It should be difficult to conquer them. Doing so is exhausting. I know when I do something that scares me, my anxiety spikes, I can’t stop thinking about the many different outcomes that could potentially happen, and I carefully plan a reaction to each one so I feel prepared for anything. When the time comes to actually confront the fear, there’s so much adrenaline pumping that it’s over before I know it and I’m ready to bask in the sense of victory. It’s a bitter-sweet rush.
This past month, I learned that taking small steps towards beating a fear still means you’re challenging it. It’s easy to think extremely — it’s either all or nothing — when battling a fear. But even one small action makes a difference, and it’s ok to take your time, it’s still progress and it doesn’t mean you’re a coward.
I’m starting to implement this new strategy into my life, and I hope it will be effective. Just this past week, I started making small talk with a few people I didn’t know on the elevator ride up to my office. It didn’t feel natural, but it felt like I was putting myself out there for the first time in a long while.
—Jaime
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