07/ 04/ 2014

Lessons from Somewhere: June 2014

This past month, I noticed a common thread of fear. The idea of “facing fear” seemed to be everywhere, in the book I was reading, in conversations with friends, in sermons and in films. When the universe sends the same message over and over again, it’s hard to ignore.

At first, I started to think about my own fears, which include both personal and more irrational ones:

  • swimming in an aquarium full of fish
  • being attacked by frogs
  • talking to people I don’t know
  • tiny spaces
  • being forced into a crowd of people
  • spending the whole of my life alone

It’s interesting how unique fears are. What frightens me may seem laughable to others, but they’re definitely real, and shouldn’t be devalued. We’re taught from a young age to embrace fear, to face it, fight it; sometimes, I’m just tired of confronting fear. It’s definitely easier to quit than to keep going.

I realized how uncomfortable I was with the idea of facing fear, but perhaps, we’re each uncomfortable with the idea. I mean, they’re fears, right? It should be difficult to conquer them. Doing so is exhausting. I know when I do something that scares me, my anxiety spikes, I can’t stop thinking about the many different outcomes that could potentially happen, and I carefully plan a reaction to each one so I feel prepared for anything. When the time comes to actually confront the fear, there’s so much adrenaline pumping that it’s over before I know it and I’m ready to bask in the sense of victory. It’s a bitter-sweet rush.

This past month, I learned that taking small steps towards beating a fear still means you’re challenging it. It’s easy to think extremely — it’s either all or nothing — when battling a fear. But even one small action makes a difference, and it’s ok to take your time, it’s still progress and it doesn’t mean you’re a coward.

I’m starting to implement this new strategy into my life, and I hope it will be effective. Just this past week, I started making small talk with a few people I didn’t know on the elevator ride up to my office. It didn’t feel natural, but it felt like I was putting myself out there for the first time in a long while.

—Jaime


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About this Blog

About this Blog

Welcome! I'm Jaime, a 30-something girl living in New York City. Like one of my favorite heroines, Alice, I felt I'd lost my "muchness" when I first moved to NYC. This blog continues to help me find it. I hope you'll be a part of the adventure!

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