Lessons from Somewhere: November 2013

I’m a Millennial… or just another confused and fickle member of Generation Y. Apparently, we are one of the most selfish and impatient subgroups in history. Many of us are dreamers who place a higher value on happiness than on anything else. Over the past month, I thought hard about this feeling called happiness. I realized that I’ve subconsciously set this standard: you must be happy in all situations, with all people, at all times. If you aren’t, then change it, because life’s too short to be miserable.

Obviously, this sounds a little crazy, and I’m starting to believe that this perspective is more self-debilitating than helpful.

However, the Milenial in me doesn’t understand this emerging concern. It argues that if I’m unhappy — whether it be with a particular situation or circumstance — then I should find a way to change whatever it is that’s causing the concern. Until now, this happiness theory has been my strategy to enduring adulthood. Whenever I don’t feel happy, I do my best to become more happy.

While it’s a logically sound theory, it can be misleading, because it’s stressful. Sometimes I worry because I’m not happy, especially if it’s something I should be happy about. It’s a lot of pressure, and trying to maintain happiness all the time just ends up making me even more frustrated.

All the points in my life where I haven’t been happy weren’t about changing my lifestyle at all–it was about letting myself feel. For me, this is intense. I like being even-tempered, and when I feel deeply, I don’t like it, especially if they are crappy feelings, not good feelings. Sometimes though, struggle isn’t always defined by circumstance and we simply just feel bad. No matter how hard we try to fix it, we can’t shake those difficult feelings.

I know I’m sounding like a major Debbie Downer here, but the truth is, maybe we all need to feel crappy sometimes.

Instead of trying to solve the issue or stressing out because I’m not happy in that moment, I’m committing to just letting myself feel whatever it is I’m feeling. I think this is what it’s really about, not being afraid to feel, trusting that you’re going somewhere, and that this hard time is just part of getting to the better stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

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