03/ 21/ 2015
It was early on a Sunday. For the first time in weeks, we were experiencing a temperature over 25 degrees, and it was so nice to be outside without a down coat on. While walking to Whole Foods, I pulled out my iPhone and saw that I had an unexpected text message from the guy I’d been dating. A week and a half had past since I heard from him, and I thought it was odd. But I swiped right, then read these words:
“Have had a girlfriend the entire time.”
Note: Let it be known that no girl should have to hear these words from the boy she’s been seeing (especially before her morning cup of coffee).
There was a rush of emotions. At first, I called my best friend and laughed; the longer I sat with this news though, the more insecure I became. I swore off dating forever, and then felt an intense combination of shame and guilt. I kept telling myself it was my fault, that I always chose the wrong guys, and that I was so stupid for trusting him so quickly. Even though I had absolutely no idea that he’d had a girlfriend, I was horrified by the fact that I’d brought this situation on a fellow female. How awful she must have been feeling!
It was about two weeks before I started to let it go. It suddenly hit me that I was most upset with myself for getting into this mess, and I had to forgive me more than anyone. Once I did this, I realized that I’d learned a few things: casual dating is not for me. I’m a relationship kind of girl, and that’s just fine. No matter how big of a jerk this guy was, he didn’t get to affect my future… I can’t give him that kind of power over me. Sometimes, I’ll make poor judgement calls, and I can’t beat myself up over them. I also have to hold on to the truth that I deserve someone who actually wants to commitment to me.
Could I ask you something, Jaime? I’ve been reading “Wth Muchness” for a while now and relate to so much of what you write about–like this experience with Ping Pong guy, Often I’d like to comment, but would never want to be intrusive. Do you welcome feedback from readers–even ones you don’t know personally? Feel free to be honest–I’ll keep reading either way!
Thanks for asking, Katie! I like to hear from readers, so feel free to comment anytime. Glad to hear that you can relate to what I write about and it would be so great to hear about your experiences too!
[…] work event to prep for and run; a website launch to manage; I still felt like what happened with Ping Pong boy was my fault somehow and I was experiencing some major writers […]