05/ 12/ 2014
In February, I signed up to run the Brooklyn Half Marathon. Running 13.1 miles in a single race while being surrounded by thousands of people is one of the most insane things I’ve ever committed to doing; however, I’ve always sort of wanted to run a half. It’s been one of those Bucket List items that I never really thought I’d get around to doing — like ever — but kept it mind. After receiving a text message from my friend Kristin letting me know registration had opened, I suddenly found myself paying the $75 entry fee while simultaneously having one of those “what the hell did I just do” moments.
I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I was (am?) in no way a runner prior to starting my training. In fact, I hadn’t had any sort of consistent exercise routine since I left Florida (nearly 3 years ago). Naturally I selected a training program designed for a novice runner. On the first day, I had to run 2 miles and do 20 minutes of strength training, and it was awful. I huffed and puffed and grumbled my way through the run, and cursed silently after each lunge and bicep curl. After the first 2 weeks, I couldn’t possibly imagine running 5 miles, let alone 13.1.
As the weeks went by, things started to feel a little easier, not just physically, but mentally as well. I developed coping strategies for dealing with those moments when I just wanted to stop running. I found picturing myself as Katniss Everdeen — shooting arrows and climbing trees and running through the forest — quite effective.
From training, I’ve learned that the mind is a powerful tool, one that I have under utilized. When I ran my first 8 consecutive miles, it took convincing myself that I could finish the run to reach my goal. I echoed many a motivational phrases: “You only have 5 more miles,” and “How many times have you run XYZ amount of miles already?” Nothing will ever keep me going like the age old mantra “slow and steady wins the race.”
In real life, when things just feel much harder than I want them to, I struggle with convincing myself that I actually will make it. It’s incredible how my nerves and anxiety have convinced me (and continue to) that I’m less than I truly am. Negative self-talk is a slippery slope. Over time, it’s easy to believe the lies, and hit a point where you’re unable to see yourself as anything other than a disappointment.
Training for this ridiculously long race taught me that the practice of mind over matter actually does exist. It’s not always easy to persuade yourself, or reaching a point where you feel worthy. Some moments are harder than others. But at least the practice is building, and I’m working towards breaking through this self-deprecating cycle.
I’ll leave you with this quote from one of my favorite writers, Jonathan Safran Foer:
“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
—Jaime
I just finished my first half marathon on May 3. Sounds like you are on a good training schedule, and I can tell you that I attribute the race being “easy” to being diligent about sticking with my training. (Believe me, I did not find running 3 miles easy before all of that, but now am in a place physically where it is). You can do it!
Oh gosh… I’m so nervous about the race! Thank you for your encouragement. I definitely have been diligent about my training, so I just need to keep reminding myself that I am prepared. Also, I’ve built a playlist I really like, so I know that will get me amped up! Thanks for reading!