Being a Leading Lady

It was spring of my senior year of college. Graduation was steadily approaching and I still hadn’t made “a plan,” which the Type-A me found very difficult to accept. A good friend of mine and I decided to take a break from the endless plotting of our futures and went to a free screening of Nancy Meyers’s epic film — at least in my opinion — The Holiday.

I was 21 and didn’t know it at the time, but the main characters — Iris (Kate Winslet) and Amanda (Cameron Diaz) — would teach me a lot. The older I get, the more relatable each becomes, and at times, I’ve felt like both characters: running from vulnerability, completely out of touch, insecure and lost.

As of late, I’ve been intrigued by Iris. What’s so compelling about her? Well, firstly, Kate Winslet is insanely awesome. Secondly, Iris is both raw and vulnerable. She openly confesses that she fell in love with the wrong man and can’t get over him. She has the classic girl problem of letting his approval give her self-value, and his rejection consumes her so much that she can’t see how incredible she truly is.

One of my favorite moments takes place in a fancy L.A. restaurant. Iris and her new friend, award winning Arthur Abbott, are having dinner. They’re talking and Iris has a melt down concerning this “schmuck” of an ex-boyfriend. Arthur says:

“Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.”

Iris fires back with a, “You’re so right, you’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life for God’s sake!”

And they’re both right.

In life, it’s easy to let our failures determine our sense of worth. We agonize over failed relationships, lost opportunities and other mishaps to a point where they imprison us. The tragedy of it all is we start to settle for ordinary instead of extraordinary, dwelling on what was instead of what could be.

What I love about Iris is you see how fantastic she is right from the start, and it takes time, but she begins to see it too. Just like any other monumental self-discovery though, she has to get there on her own. Anyone can tell you you’re wonderful; however, it’s meaningless until you can see it for yourself.

Like the other legendary leading ladies before us (Iris included), we should keep plodding along, on our oftentimes tumultuous journey. Seeking, understanding — and most importantly — breaking down those barriers that make us live like the best friend.

Because we do indeed deserve to be the center of our own stories.

 

 

 

 

 

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