06/ 09/ 2013
In her TED talk, introvert expert Susan Cain discussed the difficulties of being introverted in an extroverted world. While attending summer camp as a child, Cain recalls being typed as “mellow.” Obviously, no little girl wants to bear this title, and so she stopped reading books at camp so thee other children wouldn’t think she was antisocial.
This story got me thinking about my own journey as an introvert. If I’m honest, I’ve spent much of my adult life apologizing for being an internal thinker. I — like Cain — have gone to the loud crowded places to appease others instead of socializing in a way that was more complimentary to me. I’ve felt guilty for wanting to stay in on my night off to read or watch television and I resent the fact that I have trouble sharing openly with other people.
What I learned is that I am the source of my guilt. Yes, people have pointed out my internal nature in the past and some have even tried to change that about me. But ultimately, I am the only one who can decide to let their words affect me or how I interact with the world.
Cain’s talk reminded me that introverts are actually pretty cool. We’re perceptive, hardworking, creative, loyal, excellent listeners and smart. We can be leaders and we don’t have to be the center of attention. We enjoy life just as much as extroverts, but in a different way, and that’s really just fine.
Remembering that my introversion is a strength and not something to feel bad about has been revolutionary. With time, I hope I’ll learn to let go of the guilt and appreciate myself just the way I am.
I appreciated this post and really identified with you! It is interesting how, as children, we are always pushed to be more “friendly”–in essence, more outgoing, even if that may be very much against our nature. Society also seems to, at leastly at first glance, reward those who are more open and friendly. However, it is nice to see the older we get, the more able we tend to be able to ignore, if not reject, these outward pressures.
You’re so right. I recall many childhood moments where I felt “uncool” for being more quiet than the other kids. I too am glad that as I grow older, I’m becoming more confident and true to my nature. Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts.
Wow james this is amazing. Eloquent. Truth.
You are amazing.
Embrace it!
Love u.
Truly,
sarah claire
Thanks friend! Such a wild adventure this thing called life is; we can learn a lot… we just have to stay open to it.
I can really relate to this. It can be really frustrating when you are pushed to fit into a certain mold when, in actuality, there is nothing wrong with the way you are. I remember always looking at my introversion as something that was holding me back as a tween/teen, but now, I really embrace and appreciate it.
It is frustrating to feel like people aren’t accepting you just the way you are. And that’s exactly what I’m learning now–to embrace introversion and accept that it’s just the way I am. Thanks for sharing and reading. It’s nice to know others feel the same way.