07/ 03/ 2015
I’ve been meditating pretty consistently since the spring. The hard part is finding time to meditate, so I’ve been doing so mainly on my morning commute. So, yes, I’m getting my zen on while riding public transit.
I battled with this at first. I mean how would I ever truly be able to create a peaceful mindset on a crowded, loud, sometimes pungent in an awful way train? But I loved the challenge of it—if I could find my balance in this sort of environment, I could find it anywhere.
06/ 24/ 2015
Last week, I was at a conference in Miami. I’ve lived in NYC for nearly 4 years, but Florida still feels more comfortable to me. The way the humidity feels against my skin; the fact that there’s almost always a palm tree to be found on each and every corner; the way it smells here, fresh and faintly salty. It just feels warm to me.
Lately, I’ve been feeling misplaced, like I don’t really belong anywhere or live in a place that I can truly call home. What’s more difficult is the sense of scatteredness, of thinking that I’m not in the right place or pursuing what’s really going to be fulfilling for me in the longterm. It’s frustrating to be an organized, Type A kind of person, who’s just over a month from turning 30, and not able name what it is that I want to do with my life.
06/ 04/ 2015
I was feeling very nervous. I’d been on a first meet up — not a date, a meet up — with a new guy I’d met online. Immediately after meeting him, I was smitten, hence the nerves before round 2.
As per usual when I find myself feeling a bit frazzled, I turned to Google. I typed “first date tips” into the search bar. Well, there’s a lot of advice out there including a list of questions to ask that will help weed out any prospects in an “efficient” way; the obvious list of dos and don’ts, like don’t ask too many personal questions, but do stick to questions meriting a factual response: what you do for a living, what you like to do for fun, etc. After reading a few articles, I felt put at ease by this reminder: in any dating situation, I only have 50% of control over what happens, no more, no less.
05/ 05/ 2015
I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness lately, wondering how some people appear to be happier than others. I don’t mean for it to sound like I’m making any assumptions, I mean, I realize that happiness isn’t easy to maintain. Some of the happier people I know work at it incessantly. They struggle and are insecure like the rest of us, but they’re able to cope and remain separated from their hardships. It’s something I’ve recognized before, being able to not let your circumstances define you.
I struggle with being happy, and honestly, I tend to be a bit jealous of those that can find and maintain contentment. What makes it different for them and why are they more capable of positivity? To say it a different way, how are they able to stay so separated from their baggage and not let it negatively affect them?
