10/ 03/ 2021
I’ve spent most of the past year in Florida, riding out the pandemic with my parents, in the house I grew up in. I haven’t spent that much time in my hometown since graduating from high school many years ago.
The pandemic has been stressful for all of us. I’ve grown to appreciate having more time at home and more time to reflect. I’ve also had more time to snack.
Lots of people are talking about gaining “the pandemic 15.” I’m definitely a little heavier, and because of my complicated relationship with my body, eating and food, gaining weight is difficult for me. My weight has been a source of anxiety for as long as I can remember, and my self-worth has been contingent on my size for a lot of my life.
Therapy helped me make a lot of progress. Some days, the weight gain is harder to accept, other days my confidence and appreciation for my body is sky high.
While in Florida, the way I think about my body shifted even more, and it all started with a crane.
Read more »12/ 13/ 2015
Shortly after college, I went through a period where I only watched dramatic movies. I can’t recall why I lost interest in comedies and rom-coms. Perhaps it’s because indie films and dramas made me feel more interesting some how.
During this phase, I was living in Atlanta and had become good friends with a co-worker named Heather. I remember her wanting to go see The Hangover. I was on fence at first, then she said something like, “sometimes, I just need to laugh, you know?” I went with her. After all, laughter sounded good, but a little foreign to me in this context. Sure enough, I hadn’t laughed that hard in forever.
11/ 15/ 2015
For years now, I’ve had a lot of things stored in the closet of my childhood bedroom in Florida. Everything including awkward middle school pictures, my first dollhouse and kitchen tools that I don’t have the space to store in my Manhattan apartment were hidden in that closest.
My dad has begged me to clean out the space for a while—a task I’ve had zero desire to take on. While visiting last week though, I went on a rampage. I opened every single box in that closet and threw away a lot. There were so many things that I hadn’t realized I kept, including every journal I’ve ever written.
When I found them, I thought, “wow, I’ve got to read these right now.” So I organized them by date, earliest to most current. The first began in the seventh grade. My english teacher, Mrs. Johnson, required us to write in one and it was the first journal I ever kept.
10/ 18/ 2015
When I was in middle school, I fell in love with a cartoon on MTV. If you don’t know about Daria, I highly suggest you learn more as soon as possible.
Since watching this show, I’d always wanted my very own pair of Doc Marten boots. She just looks so cool with them on, I mean, you should just see for yourself:
Well, it took turning 30 to convince myself I was ready to embrace my inner Daria. I went out and bought a pair of Docs all my very own. I still feel a little intimidated by these boots. They require a certain type of swagger. But I’ve learned that they truly look good everywhere.